song parody done to death but what the hell
by Melandune
Summary: it's the usual thing the first duet with Arwen and Eowyn and a poetic Gollum! Now with Mirkwood Elves!
1. That King is mine

Disclaimer: what, you thought I owned LOTR? You must be dumber then you look… ok, I'm just kidding. But honestly, I don't own LOTR, even though I wish I did. *hangs head* Anyhow, I own nothing. Nothing except some candy bars. My candy bars, preciousss candy bars…

A/N: Ok, I know everybody does these. But I have looked almost everywhere and I haven't found anyone who has done THIS song. Don't know why? Anyway, here is my first song parody. Hope you like it…

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 Éowyn and Arwen- that king is mine 

*Chorus*   
You need to give it up   
Had about enough   
It's not hard to see   
That king is mine   
I'm sorry that you   
Seem to be confused   
He belongs to me   
The king is mine   
  


---*Éowyn*---   
I think it's time we got this straight   
Let's sit and talk face to face   
There is no way you could mistake   
Him for your man are you insane   
  


---*Arwen*---   
You see I know that you may be   
Just a bit jealous of me   
But you're blind if you can't see   
That his love is all in me   
  


---*Éowyn*---   
You see I tried to hesitate   
I didn't wanna say what he told me   
He said without me he couldn't make   
It through the day ain't that a shame   
  


---*Arwen*---   
Maybe you misunderstood   
Cause I can't see how he could   
Wanna change something that's so good   
Because my love is all it took   
  
Repeat chorus   
  
---*Arwen*---   
Must you do the things you do   
Keep on acting like a fool   
You need to know it's me not you   
And if you didn't know it girl it's true   
  


---*Éowyn*---   
I think you should realize   
And try to understand why   
He is a part of my life   
I know it's killing you inside   
  


---*Arwen*---   
You can say what you want to say   
What we have you can't take   
From the truth you can't escape   
I can tell the real from the fake   
  


---*Éowyn*---   
When will you get the picture   
You're the past and I'm the future   
Get away it's my time to shine   
And if you didn't know that king is mine   
  
Repeat chorus 2x   
  
*Both*---  
You can't destroy this love I found   
Your silly games I can not allow   
That king is mine without a doubt   
You may as well throw in the towel   
What makes you think that he wants you   
When I'm the one that brought him to   
This special place in my heart   
Cause he was my love right from the start   
  
Repeat chorus 3x

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A/N: For you who didn't get the point of me doing this song; it's about Arwen and Éowyn arguing about Aragorn. And yeah, I know I didn't change much of the text, but I was in a hurry when I made it… however, if you review maybe it will get better. Tell me what songs you think I should go and I'll see what I can do with them. *takes out a watch and dangles it in front of you* You are now being hypnotised. You WILL review. You MUST review. The purple button is your best friend. You ARE going to press it. ;)


	2. Shire Superstar

Disclaimer: see chapter one

A/N: thanks to Laura. You were my first reviewer (I don't count as a reviewer). As you can see, hypnotising works… hope you like this one too. Just so you people know, I haven't changed a lot of the text but I have done what I can.

Frodo: Pras   Boromir: Ol' Dirty bastard   Rosie: Mya

FRODO FEAT. BOROMIR AND ROSIE- Shire Superstar  
  
(BOROMIR:)  
Man man  
Look up at the sky  
All the stars man  
The stars is beautiful tonight  
Look at 'em  
CHORUS:  
  


(ROSIE:)  
Shire superstar  
That is what you are  
Comin' from afar  
Reachin' for Mt. Doom   
Run away with me  
To another place  
We can rely  
On each other, uh-huh  
From one corner  
To another, uh-huh  
  

 (Frodo:)  
Uh, yeah, yo, yo  
Some got, hopes and dreams  
We got, ways and means  
The surpreme dream team  
Always up with the schemes  
From hubcaps to sellin' raps  
Name your theme  
My rise to the top  
Floatin' on this cream  
Who the hell wanna stop me  
I hated those who doubt me  
A million ReFugees  
With unlimited warranties  
Blue eyed hobbit

Ain't no one gonna stop it

Diplomatic legalese  
No time for a Visa  
They just begun  
I'ma shoot them one by one  
Got five sides to me  
Somethin' like a Pentagon  
Strike with the  
Forces of King Aragorn  
Lettin' bygones be bygones  
And so on, and so on  
I'ma teach this cat  
How to live in the Shire  
Keepin' it retro-spective  
From the get go  
Lay low, let my mind  
Shine like a halo  
P-P-Politic with ghetto  
Mayors on the deelow  
  
Repeat chorus  
  
(BOROMIR:)  
One two, and you don't stop, yo  
My eyes is sore, bein' a man from Gondor  
Behind closed doors hittin'  
Truth to the seafloor  
The rich go North ignore  
The tug of war  
While the kids are poor  
Open new and better drug stores  
So I became hardcore  
Couldn't take it no more  

Change the law  
I find myself  
Walkin' the streets  
Tryin' to find what's really  
Goin' on in the streets  
   

(FRODO:)  
Yea, yo, yo, yo  
Now every dog got his day  
Needless to say  
When the Dark Lord away that's  
When them orcs want to play  
I told you, mess around  
You fools like Cassius Clay  
Stretch my heater make  
You do a pas de bourree  
Kick your balls like Pele  
Pick 'em doin' ballet  
Peak like Dante  
Broader than Broadway  
Get applause like a matador  
Cry yellin', ole  
Who the hell wanna save me  
Everyone from Gandy, to Leggy  
Come on  
  
Repeat chorus  
  
(FRODO:)  
Yeah, yo, yeah  
Just when you thought  
It was safe in a common place  
Showcase your finest is  
Losin' fast in the horse race  
Two faced, gettin' defaced  
Out like Scarface  
Throw your roll money  
Let me put on my screwface  
   

(BOROMIR:)  
Well I'm paranoid  
At the things I said  
Wonderin' what's the penalty  
From day to day, I'm hangin' out  
Partyin' with girls  
That never die  
You see I was  
Pickin' on the small fries  
My campaign tellin' lies  
Was just spreadin' my love  
Didn't know my love  
Was the one holdin'  
The gun and the glove  
But it's all good as long  
As it's understand  
It's all together now  
In the hood  
  
Repeat chorus  
  
(FRODO:)  
Uh-huh uh-huh  
Uh-huh uh-huh  
Yeah  
All Stars  
Yeah yeah yeah  
  
Repeat chorus  
  
(BOROMIR:)  
Sing it baby  
Sing it baby  
To another  
Yeah, hee, ahh

A/N: I had to take Rosie because she was the only one I could think of for this song… and yes, I know that it's not nice to have Boromir as Ol' Dirty Bastard. But what can I say, I'm not a nice person sometimes. Remember, the purple button is your friend, it won't bite. *takes out old watch again, starts dangling it* you are now hypnotised. You WILL press the purple button. You MUST review. You ARE going to press it. NOW! 


	3. More Then A Hobbit

Disclaimer: No, I don't own LOTR yet! 

A/N: thanks to saxophoneserpent and Laura for the reviews. Ok, on this chapter I kind of ran out of ideas. However, I'll try to do a more original the next time, but I can't promise. This one is a song preformed by Pippin to his future wife Diamond. Pippin is one of the best characters in LOTR, if not the best. At least that's what I think… well, here it is:

Peregrin Took - More Then A Hobbit

Passion, Instant   
Sweat beads fill me   
Cupid's shot me   
My heartbeat's racing   
Tempt me, Drive me   
Feels so exciting   
Thought of highly   
It's yours entirely   
  
I'll Be   
I'll Be More Than A Lover   
More Than A Hobbit   
More Than Your Lover   
I'll Be   
I'll Be More Than A Lover   
More Than A Hobbit   
More Than Enough For You   
I'll Be   
(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover   
(More) More Than A Hobbit   
(More) Even More Under Covers   
I'll Be   
(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover   
(More) More Than A Hobbit   
(More) More Than Enough For You   
  
Midnight grindin'   
My heartrate's climbin'   
You go, I go   
Cause we share pillows   
Chase me, leave me   
There's still no separating   
Morning massages   
With new bones in your closet   
  
I'll Be   
I'll Be More Than A Lover   
More Than A Hobbit   
More Than Your Lover   
I'll Be   
I'll Be More Than A Lover   
More Than A Hobbit   
More Than Enough For You   
I'll Be   
(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover   
(More) More Than A Hobbit   
(More) Even More Under Covers   
I'll Be   
(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover   
(More) More Than A Hobbit   
(More) More Than Enough For You   
  
I don't think your ready   
I don't think your ready for this thing   
For this thing   
I don't think your ready for this thing   
You're Not Ready   
I don't think your ready for this thing   
This thing, This thing   
I don't think your ready for this thing   
  
Constant pleasures   
No scale can measure   
Secret treasures   
Keeps on getting better   
Do you wanna roll with me?   
We can go to foreign lands   
Your hand in my hand   
Do you wanna ride with me?   
We can be like Rosie & Sam   
Be by your side   
  
I'll Be   
I'll Be More Than A Lover   
More Than A Hobbit   
More Than Your Lover   
I'll Be   
I'll Be More Than A Lover   
More Than A Hobbit   
More Than Enough For You   
I'll Be   
(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover   
(More) More Than A Hobbit   
(More) Even More Under Covers   
I'll Be   
(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover   
(More) More Than A Hobbit   
(More) More Than Enough For You

A/N: I feel that I should warn you, I might do Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive". Just thought you should know and be warned. * Once again brings out the watch* you are now being hypnotised. You WILL review. You MUST review. The purple button is you best friend.  You ARE going to press it…


	4. Eat It

Disclaimer: do I even need to tell you? You should all by now know that I don't own the songs OR LotR OR the charactors from it…

A/N: Aight people, I know that it's been a long while since I updated but my computer didn't work and my internet connection was down for over two week. I I'll try to think of new ideas. 

But I have to warn all you readers out there. I have only changed TWO words in this text. *Readers start throwing things, heavy and sharp things. Author ducks. * I couldn't help it. It was easier and it sounded better this way. That and the fact that my mind has stopped working. 

Well, enough of me babbling away. Here is the next parody (although it is a parody itself.):

Eat it, sung by Merry and Pippin:

How come you're always such a fussy young hobbit   
Don't want no Cap'n Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran   
Well don't you know that other kids are starvin' in Gondor   
So eat it, just eat it   
  
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate   
Don't want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate   
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off you're plate   
So eat it   
  
Don't you tell me you're full   
Just eat it... eat it   
Get yourself an egg and beat it   
  
Have some more chicken   
Have some more pie   
It doesn't matter   
If it's boiled or fried   
  
Just eat it, just eat it   
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!   
  
Your table manners are a crying shame   
You're playing with your food, this ain't some kind of game   
Now, if you starve to death   
You'll just have yourself to blame   
So eat it. Just eat it.   
  
You better listen, better do as you're told   
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole   
You better chow down, or it's gonna get cold   
So eat it.   
  
I don't care if you're full   
Just eat it... eat it   
Open up your mouth and feed it   
  
Have some more yogurt   
Have some more Spam   
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned   
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!   
Don't you make me repeat it!   
  
Have a banana, have a whole bunch   
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch   
  
Just eat it! Eat it!   
Eat it! Eat it!   
Eat it! Eat it!   
If it's too cold, reheat it   
  
Have a big dinner. Have a light snack   
If you don't like it, you can't send it back   
  
Just eat it! Eat it!   
Get yourself an egg and beat it!   
  
Have some more chicken. Have some more pie   
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried   
  
Just eat it! Eat it!   
Don't you make me repeat it!

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A/N: I want to thank my reviewers and most of all I want to thank lil' odd me. You have been great, giving me ideas and things like that. Couldn't have done it without you.  ;)

Laura: thanks for all your reviews. I can't promise that I will stop hypnotising you.

Whizzothecrunchyfrog: I laugh my ass off when I first came up with that idea. And pippin is singing to his future wife. He marries her after the War of the Ring. It says so in the books, so I thought it would be cut to put it in.

Lady of Ice Forever: the thought of Boromir and Pippin rapping is unthinkable. But you get used to the thought and it kind of makes sense, or it's simply hilarious.  ^_^

Leigha: I know I should have changed more, but I couldn't think of some thing. 

A/N: I may be thinking of turning this into a semi-karaoke semi-putting in songs in the book so that it will be funny- thing. But I'm not really sure. However, if that's the way you want it, that's the way you shall have it. I think… Ah we'll just have to see. It all comes down to how you people respond. When I say respond I mean review. But you smart readers already know that, right.

*takes out a watch and dangles it in front of you* You are now being hypnotised. You WILL review. You MUST review. The purple button is your best friend. You ARE going to press it. ;) 


	5. I will survive

Disclaimer: I have never nor will I ever own these songs. Or LOTR. I don't understand why I have to write this disclaimer anyway. You all know the drill by now, right.

A/N: As promised, here is Frodo Baggins as Gloria Gaynor. This takes place at Mt. Doom after Gollum has bitten off his finger and fallen into the flames. 

*Frodo lying on the ground. He starts to sing softly.*

First I was afraid  
I was petrified  
Kept thinking I could never live  
without you by my side   
But I spent so many nights  
thinking how you did me wrong  
I grew strong   *Frodo raises his head*  
I learned how to carry on  
and so you're back  
from outer space   *he stands up*  
I just walked in to find you here  
with that sad look upon your face  
I should have changed my stupid lock  
I should have made you leave your key  
If I had known for just one second  
you'd be back to bother me   *Sam looks at Frodo as if he has gone mad and/or has grown a second head*  
   
Go on now go walk out the door   *starts doing some sort of dance involving the Frodo jig*  
just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore  
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye  
you think I'd crumble  
you think I'd lay down and die   *does damsel in distress-thing, putting the back of his hand on his forehead*  
Oh no, not I  
I will survive  
as long as I know how to love  
I know I will stay alive  
I've got all my life to live  
I've got all my love to give  
and I'll survive  
I will survive   *Sam cringes at the sight of Frodo's weird and freaky dance. Not to mention the off key singing*  
  
  
It took all the strength I had   *doing body-builder pose*  
not to fall apart  
kept trying hard to mend  
the pieces of my broken heart  
and I spent oh so many nights  
just feeling sorry for myself  
I used to cry   *fakes crying*  
Now I hold my head up high   *holds head high*  
and you see me  
somebody new  
I'm not that chained up little person  
still in love with you   *Sam's eyes widen as Frodo says 'in love with you'*  
and so you felt like dropping in  
and just expect me to be free  
now I'm saving all my loving  
for someone who's loving me   *Sam falls to his knees thanking Eru that Frodo has stopped* 

A/N: I wanna thank lil' odd me for helping me write these song parodies. Couldn't have done it without you. 

You all know the drill, *takes out a watch and dangles it in front of you* You are now being hypnotised. You WILL review. You MUST review. The purple button is your best friend. You ARE going to press it.* ;)


	6. The One With A Poetic Smégol

Disclaimer: No, I don't own LOTR yet, but I keep crossing my fingers. Just hope that it works. Oh, and I don't own the poem either. Hope you enjoy this chap, but I have to tell, you, it's quite short. I haven't had time to write. 

A/N: Hey everyone! I just wanted to tell you that this chapter is written by me, Lil' odd me. Melandune and I share account and have both written these chapters so far. That was pretty much all I wanted to say. 

*~*lil' odd me*~*

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*A voice booms out in the dark saloon.*

- Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls. May I present to you the mystifying and odd, odd creature from deep under the mountain, I give you GOLLUM:

A spotlight is directed to the centre of the stage. In comes the creature known as Gollum. He's wearing a black beret. He walks over to a chair, which has appeared from nowhere, and sits down. He takes a sip of water. 

- Hi, we is going to recite a poem we foundsss. We think you will like it.

Random Audience Member: Hey, aren't you supposed to be dead? You did after all fall in to a volcano, you know. 

- Yesss, we did. But nice authors they brought us back *points to authors who are behind the big red velvet curtains*.  Now can I recite poem? 

* Gollum stands up and tilts his beret. He puts his hands behind his back and starts*

- The poem we are to recite isss called 'The Dark Side'. It goes like this:

My higher self declared:

"Above all, I want to see."  

My lower self replied:

"If you truly want to see,

you must, first,

acknowledge me."

*Gollum takes a bow and takes out a raw fish from his beret. He crouches down and starts eating the fish while mumbling. A big cane comes in and drags Gollum off stage.*

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A/N: Well, I told you it was short. Okay people, I need your help. WE need your help. We're all out of ideas. Come on, throw us a freaking bone will ya… it's not like we are asking much of you. Just suggest some songs that you think would fit in somewhere in the books or something like that… I don't know, just suggest something. 

*~*Lil' odd me*~*


	7. Elves In Tights

Disclaimer: I don't own the song, the characters, the movie 'Robin Hood: Men in tights' or anything else. Well, I do own myself and the candy bar in my locker. ;)

A/N: Hi, lil' odd me here. I want to thank everyone who reviewed on behalf of me and Melandune. I'm sorry that it has been a long time since we updated, but we both have a bunch of exams and such… But we will try a much as we can to update more often. :o)

Well, I won't take up more of your time, so here is the next 'song'. 

PS. So you know, I haven't really changed much in this chap. If you don't like it, don't read it. And remember, I warned you. 

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**Elves in tights**

A stage is seen. The lights come on and it shows a glade in a forest. In comes a girl with mahogany coloured hair that reaches a few inches above her waist, wearing a long black dress with quite a low cut. She has dark eyes and slightly tanned skin. She stands in the middle of the stage and the spotlight is directed at her.

The girl who turns out to be Lil' odd me: 'Hello and welcome to today's show. It is an honour to present the next act. Ladies and Gentlemen, fanboys and fangirls, I present to you: 

Legolas Greenleaf and the Mirkwood Archers. 

In comes a bunch elves wearing green tights and matching tunics. They stand in a line with Legolas in the middle and start singing while doing different manly poses:

We're elves, we're elves in tights.   
  


We roam around Mirkwood looking for fights. *does poses as they sing*  
  


We're elves, we're elves in tights.   
  


We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! *pretend to hand a bag of money to poor*  
  


We may look like sissies *they do a very girlish pose, grabbing the hem of their tunics and singing with high voices*, but watch 

what you say or else we'll put out your lights! *they all punch a non-existing enemy*  
  


We're elves, we're elves in tights,   
  


Always on guard defending the people's rights. *stand manly in line with their arms crossed across their chests*  
  
[suddenly they grab each others shoulders and start doing the can-can]   
  
*they release each others and stand in the manly way they did in the beginning striking poses* 

We're elves, MANLY elves, we're elves in tights. Yesss! *they sing emphasizing the word MANLY*  
  


We roam around Mirkwood looking for fights. *holding their hands as if they are looking for something and then do a couple of punches towards no one*  
  


We're elves, we're elves in tights.   
  


We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! *pretend to hand out money and such*  
  


We may look like pansies *do a disturbingly girlish pose where they seem to pretend to be shy little girls and giggle*, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights. *pretend to chop off a non-existing enemy's head and make non-existing enemies into pincushions with the help of their bows and arrows*  
  


We're elves, we're elves in tights-TIGHTs-tights, *pulling their tights up a little too much as they sing TIGHTS*  
  


Always on guard defending the people's rights. *look like they are guarding something*  
  


When you're in a fix just call for the elves in tights!   
  


WE'RE BUTCH! *do manly poses. Most have their arms crossed over their chests, others do strange hip hop-like poses.* 

The lights go out, the elves are nowhere to be seen, and the girl who turned out to be Lil' odd me comes out again and stands in the spotlight. This time she's wearing a long red dress with an even lower cut, and this time the cut does all the way down to her belly button, and a slit to her thigh. 

  
-'Well, that was all we had for today. I hope you enjoyed that. See you next time and drive home safe.' With that she exited the stage.

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A/N: well, what you think. *takes out a watch and dangles it in front of you* You are now being hypnotised. You WILL review. You MUST review. The purple button is your best friend. You ARE going to press it. ;)


	8. Everybody's Fool

A/N: I (Lil' odd me) am sorry it's been so long since there was an update on this little song-story-ficlet. The reason it's been so delayed is that I've been working on other projects and working and stuff. And to top that off, I went to London during the Holidays. 

For this song-ish chapter you'll need a bit background information, and what's better than giving a little short summery.

Summery: Arwen finds out one of her closest, if not best friend isn't who she claims to be. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Arwen. I don't own the song, which is by Evanescence by the way and it's called 'Everybody's Fool'.

(**This means song and the rest is of course the actual story )**

*~*~*~*~*~*

Arwen walked into a slightly dimmed room filled with people who are seated, waiting to see why they have been assembled. Their eyes follow the fair Elf-maiden as she stands in front of them. 

"You might wonder why you have been called here. I will tell you why. The reason is this, there is someone among us here who is not who they claim to be." As soon as she said that a few murmurs were heard. What did she mean? Was there a traitor among them? If so, who was this person? Almost everyone started looking around, half-expecting someone to jump out of the shadows. 

Arwen watched them stir, looking around as if they could find the one among them who she was talking about. Letting them a little she finally gave the sign for silence. 

"It is now time for the person i was talking about to be revealed." She gave a nod to the guards who were standing by the entrances, to capture the one. They moved very swiftly and apprehanded the guilty one. As they brought the guilty one to the front and tied her hands to a pole. "I give to you the guilty one, who's real name is... Mary Sue!" 

Many pants were heard as Arwen revealed her true name. they had all gotten to know her, and very few had ever suspected her when Arwen had first mentioned that there was someone among them that wasn't what they claimed to be. She had always seemed so... perfect, for better lack of words. But they had all heard of this person, this Mary Sue. There were many rumours about them. They appearently were very cunning in manipulating people and yet more than once they seemed to lack any kind of intellegence. They were often very great fighters and most of them were very beautiful. 

Once again turning their attention to Lady Arwen, who was now looking at Mary Sue with much contempt. Arwen moved to the right side of Mary Sue and faced the little crowd and started singing. 

**  
Perfect by nature  
Icons of self indulgence  
Just what we all need  
More lies about a world that**

Arwen pointed accusingly towards the tied female behind her and turned towards Mary Sue as she sang the chorus.

**  
Never was and never will be  
Have you no shame don't you see me  
You know you've got everybody fooled  
  
**Arwen once again faced the crowd and made exaggerated movements 

**  
Look here she comes now  
Bow down and stare in wonder  
Oh how we love you  
No flaws when you're pretending  
But now i know she  
  
Never was and never will be  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled  
  
**Not even bothering to hide the hurt in her eyes, Arwen sang in a clear voice:

**Without the mask where will you hide****  
Can't find yourself lost in your lie ****  
  
I know the truth now  
I know who you are  
And i don't love you anymore  
  
It never was and never will be  
You're not real and you can't save me  
Somehow now you're everybody's fool   
  
When she finished she stood silent, thinking how the woman in front of her had betrayed her trust. She had become her friend and then stabbed her in the back. For that she would pay, there was no doubt of that. Silently signing to the guards to take Mary Sue away, the crowd lingered only a moment before they went their separate ways. Arwen left the room last, feeling hurt, betrayed and very angry. But there was nothing more she could do now, she had revealed Mary Sue.**

The End.

*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Alright, there it is. I hope you liked it. If you happen to have any questions, just state them in your review or mail me. The e-mail is on the authorsite-thing.  


End file.
